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rattled the paper, and got back to basics. There are a number of crimes
arid voice. No ones accusing you of dereliction of duty. You sound like
dispensers at every cashiers station burst into frantic life. A torrent
operation. It was almost dark by thistime,however I knew that the
occasions when words cant say it all and your body speaks for you. This
gags on the poor old King had been a risk. Lese-majeste is the sort of

i found the above in an email mum got. isnt it wild, and not at all sense-making?
Hi guys! It's been too long, hasn't it? Sorry about that. I have a job now, at Dome in Subi, and I work lots of hours. That and I'm just plain lazy. Y'all know.

Ok,in response to Anna's love of Clag glue, i have found two one word stories we wrote in year 11. rock on! I am in normal, anna in italics.

French dude is sitting on the broomstick (left over from French oral sex) next to Anna. Oh my God! He's dying and choking, and therefore Kate is not looking happy. So she'll pick up the bloody broomstick-covered body that was "Frenchdude" and resort to necrophilia!!! Anna knows. She is always right - ALWAYS!!! For example, when ordinary-crappy-sex-on-broomsticks became even crapper, they (english girls) deferred to Anna. Again. 

Anyway, cheese-flavoured-anzacs and frenchdude can be compatible , or TOTALLY AWESOME! Malteasers cause osteoperosis. Anna says so what. She didnt say it so it doesnt matter. She's annngry. Look Kate, she's starting to smoike at the ears! Noooo! She'll kill us, if we don't kill her first.

And now, I present unto thee, "The Adventures of Clag Clear Gum Glue (A one-word story)".

One day, Clag-the-Clear-Gum-Glue-Guy decided to take his pet kangaroo-slug-thing for driving lessons. These were difficult, so CtCGGG helped with revision (in the study of Ancient HIstory). This allowed CtCGGG to learn Ancient History while committing himself to driving his pet insane. Around, even.

CtCGGG was at a convention for stamp-collectors, who knows what for? Gaitzi isn't here; this story is about CtCGGG, not Gaitzi. Adultery, also, isn't in this story, but if we WERE writing about it we would say, "CtCGGG, he's an adulterer, baby!" But his character's wife Clarissa hated adultery, therefore adultery wan't a good part of this marriage. Which is why they didn't get pregnant with bastard adulteres. 

All of this shit is irrelevent though, because adultery is not all-encompassing, and promiscuity isn't a part of "The Adventures of Clag Clear Gum Glue", because we say NO! We disapprove of such things; instead, values and beliefs are encouraged in these stories. How? By being a strange yet powerful example of morality in children's lives.

Thankyou.

And there you have it folks. enjoy.
ha, i love you guys. you know, if you want you can always come to mine after, those of you who can meet e. and can someone tell those who dont have internet access? or dont bother to access it? and yes, three in the arvo is cool, we can have a little party when i wake up. it'll be what, nine in the morning for me? ill be all fresh and cheery. unfortunately, can not promise souvenirs, as am fugitive now. must leave country quik smart. also, no room. i'll buy you swiss imported chocolate, ok? please dont be sad. ;)
love to you all,

ILL SEE YOU ON THURSDAY!!!!

IM COMING HOME!!!!!!!

hi guys, i am coming home.

i get home at ten to midnight on wednesday (2nd august). please come and meet me! i really need to see you all. i cant wait, home has never looked so good.

love to you all,

kate

Kate the Art Critic

So I`m here in the Louvre (well, not at this minute, obviously, but when I was writing this I was). I have been to the Sully wing, and seen probably half of it. There are only so many Egyptianartefacts one can see before going insane, and I really dont care about the medieval history of the Louvre. So that was Sully. I had a break and am now in the Denon wing, home to the Mona Lisa (La Joconde) and other masterpieces. She is a hall away from where I sit now - too large a queue for me - and I am perusing the other paintings as I amble around. Some are good, some are bad, soma make you go QUOI? and some strike a chord. For example, the other paintings of Leonardo DaVinci. My favourite is "Bacchus dans la Paysage", Jean the baptiste. He just looks so content, sitting there in some sort of paradise enjoying himself. although to be truthful, I like all of daVinci`s works. The Mona Lisa less so, magnificent though she is purported to be. She just feels a little flat to me, like coke that's been shaken and left over night with the top off. the painting I really don't like is "la vierge et l'enfant entournés de saint benoit and saint quentin, et deux anges". Baby Jesus looks about 30, the saints are bored shitless, and the virgin is resigned to her fate. Resigned? Mary? She isnt supposed to look resigned, she's the mother of god. Kid's on her lap looking creepily holy, and she' looking like she wants to be anywhere but there. Religious I am not, but honestly. Inapropriate. And everyone in the painting next door -"la prèsentation au temple", Ambrogio da Fossano - looks dead. they have grey skin and they look dead. However, "La Portement de Croix", Biagio D'Antonio, I like. This is one that strikes a chord. As the title suggests, it is Jesus carrying the cross to the place of his death. The lok on his face - sorrowful but accepting - seems to fit within the moment captured. And the contrast between the halves of the canvas is powerful. Jesus and cross are in the middle, taking up most of the space, and on the left are hard-faced soldiers, on the right women weeping, the weeping being something not often included. one of them is holding what appears to be the shroud of turin, or whereever, even though He isn't dead yet. The whole thing just works. ça marche, is what i thought when i saw it. In amongst all this italien religious art - and all the paintings are religious - it stands out, just like daVinci's interpretation of John.

ok. I think any more religious art will kill me. idn't they ever paint anything else? Virgin and child, crucifixion, portraits. C'est tout. I just looked up and saw a painting of religious figures. (wow.) They look a bit like rod with different coloured hair. one of them is wearing what appear to be a pair of tartan underpants. what? this is a QUOI? moment. "La vierge à l'enfant avec saint jean-baptiste, saint sebàstien et deux donateurs", giovanni antonio boltraffio. No mention of tartan underpants. huh. I'm going to brave la joconde now. The crowd is ten deep. Pushing, shoving, at the front. I don't see the attraction. Androgynous, smirking, countryside. And? It was cooler when i had twelve. et maintenant? Au cafè! Mais d'abord, neo-classicisme, soft-core porn for the upper-clqsses of the 1800s. Yay. Women didn't have very big breasts back then, did they? Also, there is the requisite "Wanker on a Horse wearing skin tight clothes", charmingly retitled "Joachim Murat (1767-1815), Roi du Naples" by the french. There was one I liked, but can no longer find, of a young couple sitting in a park. As is compulsory in these masterpieces, one of her breasts appears to have 'fallen' out of her dress. his head is nestled in her neck, her right arm around his left shoulder, his right hand having sneaked its way onto her left (covered) breast. (was this more acceptable in the society of the age? you can touch ladies' breasts in public but only if they -the breasts- are clothed?) His eyes are half closed and he looks quite happy just where he is, thank you very much. She is staring straight head, enduring the indignity for his sake because even though he's a sex crazed idiot, she still loves him. also, she knows that he knows that she will rip it off if he goes a-wondering to the park with other young maidens. This is another painting that strikes a chord, and I am sad to have lost it as i do not have the title or artist. Another time, perhaps. now to the cafe, my feet are killing me.


after this I took a tour of the shops, there being some nice ones near the entrance to the métro. and then I went home at four rather tired out from all this art appreciation. i will write another entry detailing my other adventures at the end of the week, once I have had some that don't involve getting lost, or getting hit on by old ugly people.

love to you all,

kate the art critic.

Jun. 19th, 2006

friends: name 3 friends and 3 of your favourite memories about them.
family: what had your best family holiday been?
switzerland: are swiss rolls REALLY from switzerland? :P it's lame i couldn't think of anything else
sex: what's one completely normal sexual thing that perplexes you?
fandoms: the wierdest fandom you've come across?
netlife: is there a lot of room in this net in which you live? SO VERY LAME

ok!

1 (only three?). Jazz - sitting in human biol with you and jess just doing nothing in particular.
Anna - writing one word stories in ancient history.
Dure/Dore - watching house at your house (bwa ha ha)

2. best family holiday? 4 months in europe, hands down. i mean, come on!

3. i dont actually know. i have seen quite a few variteties, so probably.

4. perplexing? um ... hmm. the whole things pretty weird, really. if you discount the biological evolutionary imperative, what have you got? a couple of people touching each otjher in weird places to get a rise. most often literally. there you go.

5. fandoms are all pretty weird. Animals of Farthing Wood, quite possibly. how much fic can you write about a buch of cartoon animals in a wood? not much, unless you are increcdibly perverted. also goosebumps. stupid stories, no plot, how do you gt fic from that? but what wins is this : Lord of the Flies. some of its actually pretty good.

6. netlife. i am not sure of this question. considering that this is the cybernet, and it is as good as infintie, yes there is probably enough room. i think. what?


there you are. have fun!
Hi guys! How are y'all? uni treating you well? good, good... nothing much has been happening on my end. i saw melanie, which was uberfun, and - thats about it. all the hot swiss boys are not here, which is sad, and i miss House. and you guys, of course. we need to talk through livejournal! and i have the best idea.

A ONE-WORD-STORY THROUGH THE COMMENTS SECTION!!!!

do you remember how much fun those things were? i've still got the ones i wrote with anna, in aus somewhere. and maybe i'll do an anna-questionaire thing too...i'm kind of bored.

hmm... ask me anything on

friends
family
switzerland
sex (or lack thereof)
fandoms
netlife


oh, and rey, guess what? ive founbd an older guy who looks just like house in 'three stories' when house is getting the infarction. you know, firt season, second last episode? i watched it with you at your place. anyway, his name is fabio and he's thirty something. but he looks like house! its uncanny.

anyway, bored with lj now, im gonna go read some fic. and if nobody comments im gonna pout at you from the other side of the world and be sad.

;)

love to you all, kate

(oh, and can everybody email me your addresses? or can someone email me everyone's? i wrote some postcards back in - uh - april, but i havent been able to send them because i lost everyones addresses. so, please? than^ks. ;)

wow. im still alive...

hi guys! wassup? all is cool over here, although this is a shitty computer. i am in a hostel with my class, and we are in berlin. it is wicked.yesterday it was 20 degrees, and everybody got sunburnt. but anyway. lately i have taken to drinking vodka and coke as my drink of choice. it is very good. tipsy, but with what seems like coke. last night,the seond night we were here, i had dinner with three of my classmates, tiffanie, joachim, and romeo. this was nice. then we found fabian and jason, and ´me and romeo had a drink each. i had a vodka and coke. it was a large glass, with more vodka than coke. so i drank it quickly, as i do, and got rather tipsy rather quickly. this was fun. so then we walked back to the train station, where tiffanie and jason left us, and continued to the hostel, and the gamesroom therein. withmore beer, and more vodka. we played chess, and then we were joined by anna, damien, and cedric. we escaped the hostel, went to a park, and smoked dope. it didnt actually do anything, really. i just felt a little bit more drunk. then back to the gamesroom,to chat and drink some more. we went to bed when we finished the beer - which was really gross - at 3 in the morning. it was fun though. so yeah. tell rod and tom they can be proud of me, huh? i think im still a little drunk, its only 8,45. maybe im just tired. who cares? email me, bitches. ;)

lots of love, kate

Hey there, remember me?

salut tout le monde! kate here. the flight was ok - very long, 19 hours minus stops. i made a few friends on the way, though - a girl named julie who was going home to liverpool and a girl named meg who is also an afser, but living in bern instead of neuchatel. when we arrived in frankfurt, we had to catch a bus from the international airport to the domestic, and so we had to go outside. into the snow. all the other passengers on the bus were laughing at us (10 aussies, 20 south americans) because we were running around in the snow and taking lots of photos. the plane was delayed onc because of the snow, and once more because it had to be 'deiced'. anyway, and hour later we arrived in zurich. noemie and olivier came to meet me, and we drove two hours to get to olivier's apartment. this was on friday, and i left on thursady. it has been snowing on and off the entire tinem and the snow is a meter and 50 centimeters tall in some places. i started school yesterday. it is very difficult; at least i don't have to do german or maths, and the philosophy tzeacher is sick until thursday so today we played cards for two hours. there isn't a sub teacher, so that's good. we have an hour and a half for lunch, so i go home with noemie ad we eat a hot meal which is nice. we have to walk to and from school, and it is freezing! Like two degrees, or something. i am still jetlagged - i keep waking up at six, and falling asleep at seven. i have made a few friends - they are lorraine and solene, and a few others whose names i don't know. on the 18-19 of march i have an afs camp, which will be fun because i will be able to see my afs friends again. my french is improving (i had forgotten it all) and noemie and olivier speak english which is good. um... what else? fondue is wicked. so is potato gratin. updates will be scarce(er) from now, because at my hostmother's house we don't have a computer. um.. good luck to everyone in theier respective endevours, especially uni, and say hi to the non-lj-ers for me. i miss you all already, gros bisous and lots of love, Kate.
Anna??? i commented to be added....

EXCEPT YOUR COMMENTS ARE FRIENDS-ONLY!!!

fool girl. ;) add me, wench! i loves you!